Inquiry International

Bitching and Whiningâ„¢ is a critical entrepreneurial skill.

Entrepreneurship is a contact sport, and it most often played alone.

Entrepreneurship, whether in business or in Life is an attitude and inspiration to take a different road, to try the new, to be genuine or to take risk or to try to change the world, or at least one's own part in it. And even if one is surrounded by companions, partners and employees, there are moments of upset, of question, of vulnerability, when the path feels like faking it, or full of aloneness, or bearing the burden of everyone else's burden.

The Road Less Travelled Can Be a Pain in The Butt

It is a road of leadership, struggle, excitement, steep learning curves, failure, betrayal, passion and pain. It all goes with the turf. And it's easy to forget that the road one is on is the path of one's own choosing. It's easy to forget that with the ups come the downs, with excitement there is anguish, and with hope, there is fear.

Keep a Stiff Upper Lip?

And throughout it all, everyone is depending on you, including you. But who is there to whine to or to bitch about problems with? And in today's politically correct, iconic leadership-centric world, bitching and whining is a sign of bad leadership, poor management, poor manners, poor sportsmanship, victim mentality, bad karma and generally childish behavior. Isn't it?

Bitching and Whining

Baloney. Bitching and Whining is entirely underrated. It's an entirely natural activity that if left unexercised will often lead to burnout, repressed anger and other negative symptoms of bottled up emotions. Entrepreneurs aren't heroes. They are people, dealing with very real and challenging situations that most have not experienced before. Frustration, denial, exhaustion, anger, upset, confusion and just about every other dilemma and emotion are part of the heady soup that entrepreneurs swim in every day. And just when it all seems to be figured out, the target moves.

Venting is Natural

Some natural venting is in order. Indeed, it's essential. Keeping a stiff upper lip as an entrepreneur can lead to very real dangers, such as false leadership, depression, and inevitable crises of confidence when the façade cracks, which it will eventually.

Venting Alone is a Waste if Time

But, who does the entrepreneur turn to in order to therapeutically bitch and whine, without going to a therapist, or taking it out on his or her family or being a burden to close friends? And how does an entrepreneur learn to bitch and whine positively, professionally without becoming addicted to it or exhibiting childish behaviors in public and creating a crisis of confidence? It's hard (and dangerous) to bitch and whine at your Board of Directors. It's easy to bitch and whine at employees, but it brings negative consequences in turnover and a problematic corporate culture. And there is a fine line between blame and bitching, and denial or victimization and whining.

Who's Going To Listen?

Perhaps more importantly, where does the entrepreneur turn to for some healthy bitching and whining without being catered to or coddled in narcissistic support? Where does the entrepreneur find empathetic understanding and listening with constructive push-back.? There is nothing worse than an enabled whiner, especially a CEO. But it happens all the time.

Bitching and Whining Options

There are a couple of options. A good mastermind group is one. Gathering a group of strong people to mastermind issues with is a solid form of professional bitching and whining combined with solutions building. A good coach or consultant is another. A coach or consultant can be a great sounding board for constructive bitching and whining. The key here is competency and experience.

Professional Bitching and Whining

Genuine empathy is critical to the management of professional bitching and whining. If the coach or consultant isn't experienced as an entrepreneur and hasn’t walked in the entrepreneurial shoes, chances are they are offering consolation rather than true empathy and understanding for the dilemmas of the bottled up bitcher or whiner. And if the coach or consultant isn't skilled at listening, reframing or perspective management and comprehensive solutions building, then apparent therapeutic bitching and whining management can end up as simply a paid gripe session.

Bitching and Whining Problem Solving

The coach or consultant also has to be able to weather the emotional storm of the venting, so some critical skills and competencies in emotional management are key. Moreover, bitching and whining can be an opportunity to discover unresolved conflict, problems with decision making, organizational dilemmas, leadership or management challenges and other potential subsurface yet substantive issues that the entrepreneur may be unaware of, but attuned to subconsciously.

A good coach or consultant can "unpack" a bitching and whining session to get to the underlying issues. And finally, the coach or consultant needs enough seniority to be able to have the real authority and respect to interrupt the bitching and whining much like a coach or a sensei must have the true credibility to stop a team player's or junior martial artist's unproductive emotionality. It took a great coach to overcome Michael Jordan's lone wolf mentality and behaviors to help shape him into a legend of basketball. The same applies to the process of helping shape great entrepreneurs.

Bitching and Whining Constipation Is Unhealthy

Bottled up bitching and whining is a common mistake for most entrepreneurs. It's fine to gripe about a football game or a social interaction, or even family, but it is somehow taboo to complain about one's own business. The results are unhealthy, resulting in pathological leadership characteristics and unhealthy group dynamics. The costs can be very high, even disastrous, personally and organizationally.

So go ahead, Bitch and Whine. Find an outlet, and let it go. But do it professionally and master the art of therapeutic bitching and whining. If you don't know how, then hire a good coach and start practicing.

If you would like to learn how to master the art of professional bitching and whining, contact us

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